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Archive for July, 2008

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I never find moments filled with more love for my husband then when I catch him unaware of me witnessing his love for his children… he’s not particularly fond of me photographing him because he thinks he looks “soft” but I see only an amazing strength and pieces of his own immortality as he passes that strength and love and character onto his son.

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{disclaimer: I wanted to transplant my earliest blogs into here so they would all be within convenient grasp, I was disappointed to find that many of the photos for whatever reason were no longer available, and I can not remember what image this may have been, but the post was of personal significance to me and I still wanted to share <3}

This is a fitting photo for the day I suppose… there is an incredible gravitational pull that slows and weighs on me heavily at times… our blessings also become our greatest burdens when forced to face them against each other and choose which is most in need of and deserving of our time. I trade masks often between the mother the photographer and the wife, and since all 3 are in many ways at the beginnings of their voyages I find that ships are sailing in different directions pulling pieces of me at times tearing me apart into different fragments that I fear become insufficient in their allotted tasks. I have been waging internal wars against myself weighing my priorities and wants against each other. I love each beyond the explanation available within words, in very different, severed and incomparible ways, and the occasional moments where I fear that one comes at the expense of another and perhaps I am a bit more selfish and indecisive than I care to admit, I feel as though I am veiled in cascading shadows surrounding each place within my subconscious, and feel as though my entire existence remains simply treading water in a cavernous depth of dark, a coin toss wager as to whether I may swim or drown… but then I find that a moment's meditative silence resounds in my mind's chaos commanding a quieting peace, and the hope that if I remain diligent and focused and keep sacred my passions and loves in equal regards that in a very short time the foundation shall be solid and upon it shall exist a beautiful life full of passionate artistry and family and love…. our existence in shadows means only that we are facing obstacles not that there is an absence of light.

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Today ended up being an excellent day, I love Baby Belly Photos

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