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Archive for October, 2008

Organized Chaos

or organizing the chaos… trying to settle into the house, trying to create some semblence of a studio, trying to get through Steven’s new teething phase, trying to write my 2 of my favorite soldiers diligently through their basic training {and send photos!} trying to keep up with all my clients, trying to get my finances for the business in order with the quickly approaching dreaded tax season. I am barely treading water, and am trying to keep you all satiated with the photos you keep requesting, so… have a little patience, and thank you for appreciated the work here is a quick shot from this weekend’s wedding… wedding photo from this weekend…aren’t they lovely 🙂

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I love you all, I miss you all, I am not ignoring anyone. We successfully settled on the new house/studio we have 1.5 acres, and they are so beautiful right now with the leaves changing colors that I cant stand it. We have a beautiful hardwood deck that overlooks the grounds and I sincerely hope and believe that the calming and zen-like effect that overcomes me when I am on it looking out will not fade for me. It is quite possible that the next time I leave this home will be when they take me to bury my body at the end of this life. The house I assumed would be confined being that we lost almost 700sqft of space, and though we are having an amusing time of attempting to find each thing it’s own place in our new lives; it feels cozy and welcoming…and it’s less to clean. Proximity to every other part and person in our lives is so welcomed after feeling so far away, and I am water right now trying to find my own level in this new chapter of my life. Still there are things that tug at me and momentarily shift my resolve to rebuild from the ruins here… I have never turned from the face of a challenge.
For all of you this simply means in more abrupt informative attire: I will not have internet installed until thursday, and doubt I could even find my computer in the midst of the chaos that exists right now. As such, if you are not already scheduled for a shoot, studio time is delayed currently while we build a newer better location for you that I promise is worth the wait. I may have an open house studio day for all of you I’ve already shot so you can marvel and appreciate the difference from my dark basement dungeon you were previously painted in. I have engagement photos today and a wedding Friday, and inbetween them I hope I will be relatively close to contorting this disarray into some kind of semblence… So call me if you need to speak with me immediately or on the otherside, have patience in my reply time if you message me internet-ically

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Scorpio… Most I know are passionate and they are after all the symbol of sex… As is Rachel who is one of the nicest, most sweet people I know. What can I say I have a knack for turning any girl into a vixen
Seemed appropriate for tonight after the conversation I had with someone that has loved my artistry and been seduced by every thought I have shared and withheld from them…
Funny how we affect eachother in such ways unintended, and never understood; and I like most others enjoy being the object of desire, and embrace in the amusement of knowing I can fill another’s thoughts with lustful contemplations… if only there was more depth to the tryst I myself might be tempted to test my will against the temptation…

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A Lovely Destruction


so since we were discussing trash the dress and bridal boudoir, here is a hybrid of the two. Thankyou to Alicia for modeling for the photograph.
I think there is something a little tragic and despondent trapped between the lace and grime of this shot, a bittersweet recollection of most of our important choices in life seem to mimic this, we drag ourselves through the mud, seemingly destructive and ruining the cherished beauty, but then find in retrospect a hauntingly embraceable loveliness in our once considered fractured moments.

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If I could say one personally moving thing about shooting weddings, there’s always at least one moment, usually several, where there is immensely honest moments of love, of course it’s usually magnified by the naivetĂ© that is so blissful before careers and mortgage payments, and diapers, and daycare completely sidetrack that romantic interlude that is so enchanting on wedding days. I think that emotional intensity is something we take for granted and when it fades we assume it’s lost forever and often times we’ll go elsewhere and build new fires with someone who ignites a new spark within us instead of taking the time to carefully rebuild flames from embers we so easily ignore… Sometimes it’s easier to start over than to rebuild… how do we keep a marriage together when outsiders have little regard for wedding vows and families? When half the time the people that took the vows disregard them without remorse? When even your lives together is the very thing pulling you apart? I suppose the best we can do is revisit the moments that hold the reminder of the basis of every step we have taken together…

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Today is a day for changes… one day closer to a change in our homes and a big step in my career. Every step I take in photography has been immensely wonderful, the more I do the more I want to do, I love it, I am so happy I am blessed to have something I am more passionate about then most people find for their entire lives, and am talented enough to turn out results that make my clients elated, it’s extra wonderful to get paid so well for something I would do for free.
The change in homes changes so much for us, we have such beautiful grounds, a much more strict budget, but the added income from photography helps to balance things out. Being close to family and 2 miles from my best friend of 13 years is a wonderful thing. Along with changes for the day, for those of you looking for an update: the hardened spot was apparently not on my ovaries but is intestinal related… yea for abdominal ultrasounds, catscans and other tests I dont even want to mention… Still shadows are just cast by obstacles blocking the light, and all in all it’s hard to be saddened with so many wonderful things going on.
In light of changes, I’ll add one more to the list, I know you love the pretty photos of beautiful girls and weddings and children I usually post, but this is a very very pretty boy, and one of my new favorite models Clint:

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